But I Have Never Done That Before!

Is that a good reason not to experience the first time?

By Gary V Carter

It is very important that we are cautious when people present to us options that we have never considered. Frankly, some of those options need to be avoided. You don't have to experience everything once. You can evaluate the risks and rewards and the benefits and drawbacks by observation and research. You don't need to try it to know for sure. Your experience is not that special. It won't change the facts about the general value of an experience.

Sadly, that caution has been applied ineptly by many. Many would seek the advice of a friend or neighbor with limited personal knowledge rather than consult with a trained person who knows more of what they're talking about. Your friends and neighbors want to help but they may not know the best things to do and say.

On the other hand, visiting a professional counselor is not a painful event for most. Counselors are not mind readers. So you don't need to feel self conscious as if they can see into your soul. Good ones never attempt to take you anywhere that you don't decide to go. If you don't want to talk about it, they won't force you. On the other hand, a professional counselor has heard it all before. It is highly unlikely that your story will shock any good counselor. As you put your situation into words in the presence of the counselor, the counselor can help you reflect on the situation. Usually a good counselor can help you see things that were right in front of you but which had gone unobserved until they bring them to light.

Very few counselors conceive their role to be advice givers telling you what to do. But they can help you see the implications of your decisions that might otherwise not come to mind.

It is been suggested that a good counselor is really just like a paid best friend. If everyone had a best friend with good judgment and a broad based education and experience then perhaps people wouldn't need to pay a professional. However, you will likely agree that most of the advice you have heard others give is less than wise.

When you need a good listening ear, start with your clergyman or medical doctor and ask them to point you in the direction of the kind of counselor that would be good for you. It will cost you some money but that money will be very well invested. When you think about it, you have probably wasted a lot of good money on artificial means to get yourself unstuck. New toys and events seldom help for long. But good counseling lasts a life time.

The main distinction between a Professional Counselor and a Life Coach is that the Professional Counselor helps you process things from the past that are stalling you from becoming the best you can be. A Life Coach on the other hand helps people who are not struggling with major roadblocks to find a more productive future. Once your counseling is well in hand and your depression has broken, your next step could be to find a good Life Coach to help find the very best place for you.